About Me
My name is Kristina. Mercurial describes me for many reasons and while the word carries with it the weight of its negative connotation-- flighty, fickle, unreliable-- I have come to embrace my natural curiosity. It is that interest in understanding the world that keeps me going from day-to-day.
I'm an educator, storyteller, a performer, and connector. I'm also an introvert. Not only do I prefer to spend time alone (it's never as draining as peopling), when I don't get enough alone time, I struggle to exist in any semblance of comfort. It is in those moments I become so very much aware of the sounds of electricity, the swarms of people around me, the bombardment of scents attacking my tastebuds and setting up camp in my nostrils.
For years I struggled against my natural inclination in an effort to fit into the world the way one is supposed to: I graduated college with bachelors in English. I went on to earn a masters in teaching and became a classroom teacher in the city that raised me.
Years before, I survived some shit, went no-contact with my mom, met the love of my life, survived some more shit, got married, and welcomed the bestest child (who is a Young Adult now) in the world.
But piece-by-piece I began to give away more and more of myself by becoming what the world demanded into existence. The over-performer. The over-planner. The over-extender. And none of that protected me.
Instead, I also became the me that covered my ass with copies of every piece of communication.
The me that worked twice as hard to get less....
I ignored the child who never got to struggle. I ignored the me who didn't learn in classrooms being lectured to by professors, but rather on her own, exploring as deeply (or not) as she wanted
I toed the line.
Hid behind the scenes.
Helped others create a life of visibility.
Wished to not be seen.
And after years and years of walking the path expected, I broke. My mind. My spirit. My willingness to continue. It all died. I came dangerously close to dying too.
My Mercurial Garden is where I sow seeds of interests and bloom in my own becoming. It's where I learn to live again. To think, and explore life.